I've been thinking a lot lately about the past, about memories, and how they shape us. You know, we all have our own versions of our past, colored by emotions, perceptions, and the foggy lens of time. Like a popular song, in a way the meaning can hit us differently at different times in our life.

I've been pondering this idea, that we remember things the way they felt, not necessarily as they were. It's a beautiful, yet terrifying thought. It's like we're all walking around with these distorted mirrors in our heads, reflecting back not the reality, but our own interpretation of it.

I want to live in reality. I want to face as many hard truths as I can stand. What if we could ground ourselves in the reality of the past? What if we could hold onto the tangible, the verifiable, the real? I've been thinking about this, and I've come up with an idea. It's not perfect, but it's a start.

I stumbled on this idea after finding this web site: https://www.concertarchives.org and looking up concerts I remember going to, but maybe they didn't happen exactly when I remembered, or in the venue I thought they did.

I've started documenting all the data points of my life. I'm talking about facts you can look up and verify; all the former addresses, the times I lived there, the rent I paid. I'm talking about all the jobs I've worked, with dates, wages and addresses. I'm talking about the dates and locations of significant events, like concerts or trips.

It's like creating a map of my life, a timeline grounded in reality. It's a way to answer questions like, "Was I as poor as I remember, or did I just feel poor?" or "How long was that relationship really? Did is last as long as I remember it?" It's a way to look back and see the reality, not just the emotion. Not so much a journal. A journal is still a real time recollection of emotional events. I am talking about locations and dates that can be verified online, which I hope will create a framework of reality that the emotion does not conform to.

The more data points I fill in, the more enlightening it is. It's like looking at your reflection in a clear, still pond, instead of a distorted mirror. It's a way to see yourself as you really were, not just as you remember. Significant events that were closer or farther apart than you remember them to be can shape the way you see them.

I have in mind to take all this data, all these facts and figures, and I've assembled them into a personal database. It's like a reference book of my life, a constant reminder of where I've been and what I've done.

Now, when I ask myself, "How much money did I earn in 2010?" or "When was that Pearl Jam concert I went to?" I don't have to rely on my memory. I can look it up. I can see the reality, not just the memory.

It's a strange feeling, to be sure. It's like listening to a song you wrote years ago, and realizing the lyrics aren't what you remember. But it's also liberating. It's a way to free yourself from the distortions of memory, and see yourself as you really were.

I'm not saying it's for everyone, but it's been a journey for me, a journey through my data points, a journey through my past. And I think I'm starting to see myself a little more clearly.

So here's to the past, to the reality, to the data points. Here's to seeing ourselves as we really are, not just as we remember. Here's to the journey, and to the song that's still being written.