Civility and authenticity are not mutually exclusive.

"Civilisation: A Personal View by Kenneth Clark" was a groundbreaking television documentary series produced by the BBC in 1969. The series was presented by art historian Sir Kenneth Clark, it aimed to explore the history of Western art and philosophy from the fall of the Roman Empire up to the mid-20th century. Across thirteen episodes, Clark journeyed through over two thousand years of western cultural history, delving into the various epochs, civilizations, and notable figures that significantly influenced the course of Western intellectual, artistic, and cultural development. He discussed the great works of architecture, sculpture, and painting, as well as literature, music, and philosophy, contextualizing each within its period and offering a wide-ranging, yet personal, survey of Western civilization. At time when all we ever seem to hear is how western civilization has destroyed the world, I find examining the benefits refreshing.

In the final moments of the final episode of Civilisation by Kenneth Clark Lord Clark made the following closing remarks that I appreciated very much.

At this point I reveal myself in my true colours as a stick-in-the-mud! I hold a number of beliefs that have been repudiated by the liveliest intellects of our time: I believe that order is better than chaos Creation better than destruction. I prefer gentleness to violence; forgiveness to vendetta. On the whole I think that knowledge is preferable to ignorance, and I am sure that human sympathy is more valuable than ideology. I believe that in spite of recent triumphs of science men haven't changed much in the last two thousand years and in consequence, we must still try to learn from history: History is ourselves.

I also hold one or two beliefs that are more difficult to put shortly: For example, I believe in courtesy - the ritual by which we avoid hurting other people's feelings by satisfying our own egos And I think we should remember that we are part of a great whole - which for convenience we call Nature - All living things are our brothers and sisters. Above all I believe in the God-given genius of certain individuals and I value a society that makes their existence possible.

These programmes have been filled with great work of genius: in architecture, sculpture and painting, in philosophy, poetry and music; in science and engineering There they are - you can't dismiss them and they're only a fraction of what Western man has achieved in the last 1000 years - often after setbacks and deviations at least as destructive as those of our own time. Western Civilisation has been a series of rebirths. Surely, this should give us confidence in ourselves. I said at the beginning of the series that it's lack of confidence more than anything else that kills a civilisation: we can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. Fifty years ago, W.B. Yeats who was more like a man of genius than anyone I've ever known… wrote a prophetic poem - and in it he said: "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction while the worst are full of passionate intensity." Well, that was certainly true between the wars - and it damn nearly destroyed us. Is it true today? - Not quite because good people have convictions - rather too many of them. The trouble is that there is still no centre. The moral and intellectual failure of Marxism has left us with no alternative to heroic materialism and that isn't enough. One may be optimistic but one can't exactly be joyful at the prospect before us.

Lord Kenneth Clark

I have been thinking a lot about courtesy and how Baby Boomers and Generation X, in many ways, sold society that courtesy was inauthentic and, therefore, should be avoided. I have realized that this view is not only short-sighted, but also neglects the fact that a society needs courtesy and manners to remain civil. I have tried to reframe my core values, shifting from "Be authentic no matter who it hurts" to "Be your best, most courteous self." I regret the times in my life that I was ill mannered and uncivil, and believed I was justified in doing so, in the name of authenticity. So, anytime I hear about someone praising the virtues of courtesy, it piques my interest. Civility and authenticity are not mutually exclusive. Being polite and genuine can coexist.