"We tend to think we learn fear; but that isn't true, fear's there and you learn security."

I'm learning about the power of putting pen to paper. In this video Jordan Peterson tells the story of James Pennebaker, a psychologist, who experimented with the idea that expressing emotion about past troubles could heal you. Students wrote about their worst experiences or mundane events, and those who confronted their past demons were doing much better months later. But it wasn't just getting emotions out; it was understanding and comprehending what happened that made the difference.

He goes on to share a story of a client who, as a four-year-old, was assaulted by her six-year-old brother. At 29, she still saw herself as vulnerable. I asked her to consider that they were just two unsupervised children, which shifted her perspective. It's weird, right? She walked out with a different memory, but maybe a more accurate one. Memory isn't just facts; it's about understanding and learning to navigate life.

Another man contacted Peterson, haunted by memories of high school bullies, filled with rage and shame. Why can't he let go? It's because the past won't let him go. When we're haunted by negative memories, it's because we still have things to learn from them. Just like a kid sticking close to their mom on the playground, fear is natural, but we can learn security through understanding.

So, if old memories haunt you, write them down, make sense of them, and let yourself learn from the past to better navigate the future.